It’s easy to get bogged down in the drama and responsibilities of every day. And to feel like that’s the way it’s likely to stay – forever.
In our book, Chocolate or Lunch, we start out with personal stories where we were really bogged down……until we weren’t.
NANCY: When my daughter, Anita, was 16, I would come home from work tired, fearful and even angry. I’d drag myself through the door, grouchy as all get out. Each day like a sacred ceremony, Anita would simply ask in a loving tone, “Tell me three things that happened today that made you happy.” I’d grumble and snarl. She would kindly repeat, “Tell me three things that happened today that made you happy.” I worked hard to find one and I would blurt it out like a train engineer shouting, “All aboard.” I felt so done with this game and stamped my foot to get my own way. Anita would say, “Good, two more.” Every day we would do this routine ‘til I could produce three things that made me happy that day and then, SURPRISE, I was happy.
What made Nancy happy? Is it magic? In a way it is. She embraced a magic that is inside all of us. It’s a subtle magic, inherently ours and so profound that it sometimes eludes us.
SHARON: It was a snowy evening and I was on my way home from work, a little frazzled. A bridge was out, so I had to drive extra miles, and I’d forgotten to defrost food for dinner for my kids and me. Most of all, I felt heavy remembering a phone call with my ex-husband the day before. I’d gotten so mad I hung up on him. Truth was, I’d been angry at him for the whole four years we’d been divorced, and probably some before that. I noticed that I was actually slumped over the wheel. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the snow was light and pretty. I straightened up and saw more clearly that the night was beautiful. It occurred to me that I didn’t need to give my thoughts of Roger all this power… I already divorced him. And I laughed out loud. I realized all at once that we had enough money; I had a good job, my kids were doing well, why not enjoy life? I also realized in that moment that Roger wasn’t quite the ogre I was making him out to be, and that I was sometimes pretty unreasonable.
It was not a thought or a feeling, but a sudden realization. And in that moment everything shifted. I remember the very store where I stopped and bought pizza. I arrived home happy and my kids asked, “What made you so happy?” That simple question the children asked needs to be answered by all of us.
In both stories, what made us happy? … and what makes you happy? Both of our stories show how our bodies were totally lacking energy. Who we were in our funk was not showing up only in moods, attitudes and responses. Our bodies, minds and spirits were in collapse mode. We were not fun or lighthearted; we were focused on what wasn’t working. We were settling for something less than our best selves. Without knowing it, these were our customary responses to many situations. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t how we wanted to live our lives. We are sure you don’t either, but it is easy to fall into the trap of looking at the downhearted side of things.
What helped us each change our way of being in the stories above? What stories can you recall in your own life where you shifted from bogged down to energized? What made the difference?
Let us know your thoughts. We’d love to hear your stories.
With happy thoughts for fall,
RelationSmiths, Nancy and Sharon
This week’s challenge: Shift your way of being from bogged down to uplifted….at least once. How about even once a day? “Shifting to uplifting” is a great practice.
